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Updated: Jun 2, 2023

I wonder, more often than not

Whether my will to find you is strong enough

Enough that I’d sacrifice all I am

But then I stop wondering,

Hiding from the fear that I’m too weak to let you go

The whirlpool pulling me in

Needn’t try so hard,

If I just give in

I couldn’t tell you in words

How much damage you left me with; your father blames me

I do too

Maybe if I tell myself enough,

I can move on

I repeat the words as the sand beneath my feet starts absorbing me

The vines of the protruding tree holding me still,

Threatening me to choose my fate

The humourless laugh, I hear

An eerie beckoning creeping down my neck

Come with me

But I hold on

I hold on, even if my mere presence won’t affect a single soul

Then I remember why I have wisteria around me

Why I could feel my legs no longer

It’ll be alright

The voice haunts me again, as my conscience drifts away

My strength far too weak to pull myself upright again

Hope flourishing at the thought of seeing you again,

An idea much more satisfying

Than to live in a world with only the ghost of your presence

With one last breath,

I set myself free.

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